


The first nephilim

by KardiaB



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: bed time story, botched up religion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:09:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25332196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KardiaB/pseuds/KardiaB
Summary: Amenadiel tells Charlie a bed time story about his Cousin Jessy. Don't read if you are religious and easily offended. This is just for fun. You have been warned.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	The first nephilim

A long long time ago before your Uncle Luci met Aunt Chloe, maybe two thousand years ago, he met a really nice girl. And you know your Uncle Luci, he took her to bed and made love to her. But this time, just this one time she got pregnant. Now she was just about to marry another man and they were very strict in those times about no sex before marriage. But then two month later there was the marriage. And had they found out that she was pregnant at the time she would have been stoned to death. So Uncle Luci asked us all for help, because he really liked the woman and she didn't deserve to die and so Uncle Gabriel did a lot of the talking while Uncle Luci lit a special star just for her and suddenly all the people believed the boy was the son of God. And that's how your Cousin Jessy came into this world. He was a very nice kid, always helpful, but he got in all kinds of trouble when people believed that he was God's son. So your Uncle Raphi helped out and sneakily healed some people when Cousin Jessy touched them. And Uncle Mike froze the water in the middle of the summer of a lake so Cousin Jessy could walk there when he fell out of the boat. He was the worst swimmer ever, would have drowned in a puddle, honestly. And then we all had to sneak him and all the people that followed him around at the time bread at water for weeks when he got lost in the desert. And when he was at another guy's wedding they drank so much wine that the groom ran out and that was super embarrassing so Uncle Luci flew all the way to Italy and stole lots and lots of wine. And let me tell you, the Romans really knew how to make good wine. But then no one knows what happened, maybe someone talked or they found the barrels, anyway the Romans really started to hate your Cousin Jessy and one day nearly killed him. Uncle Raphi needed three days to get him back up and running but he died a couple years later anyway. You know people at that time didn't get very old. Of course he went straight to heaven. Maybe I'll introduce you some time. He's a really nice chap. People still talk about him.


End file.
